


a thousand letters to the boy i love

by adorechan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Love Letters, M/M, Secret Admirer, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, short chapters kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-05-30 15:00:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19405696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adorechan/pseuds/adorechan
Summary: isn't it strange? there are so many people out there who secretly love someone. and there are so many people out there who have no idea that someone secretly loves them.





	1. 0 - letters to wonwoo

**Author's Note:**

> im wonchan trash
> 
> thats all i have to say.

_i watch you._

_i know that may seem weird. i'm no stalker, okay?_

_i watch you because every little thing you do makes my heart jump around in my chest._

_you don't know me and i really don't know you either. but, i do know that your name is jeon wonwoo and you're probably the hottest guy on this planet! that your nose scrunches when you smile. that your laugh is possibly the most pleasant sound i've ever heard. that you are handsome with or without your glasses. that you can make any outfit look good. that you have lots of friends that you care about and who care about you. that you can sing and rap and dance and do (probably) everything. that i may quite possible be in love with you._

_you don't know me and i'm fine with that. i'm fine with me admiring you from afar and you never noticing._

_i'm fine with you not falling in love with me or even get to know me._

_honestly, just loving you from a distance seems better for me. and for you as well._

_i'm awkward and really have no friends._

_social anxiety, woo hoo!_

_i'm scared for you to find out my identity too._

_i'd rather stay in the shadows, in the background than be on center stage._

_its easier to do it like this._

_i feel like you won't read this at all._

_is there really any point to sending it to you?_

_i mean, i'm not really sending it to you?_

_i'm wishing to the gods that somehow you get this?_

_even though a part of me wishes you don't._

_love is scary._

_i'm really scared, you see._

_that you'll hate me before you even know who i am._

_not like i'm planning on you finding out who i am but~ whatever._

_i just really_

_really_

_want to let my heart ride this high._

_i want to let myself crush on you, fall in love with you and then have my heart broken by my own thoughts._

_i want to experience what its like to be in love._

_you are the first person i've ever liked and i'm twenty._

_let me love you a little longer._

_from,_

_your admirer._

**p.s: “there is never a time or place for true love. it happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.” - sarah dessen, the truth about forever**


	2. 1 - letters to wonwoo

_hello again!_

_its been a little while since my first letter._

_i'm sorry for being such an... inconvenience but i really just want to write you letters._

_i know i'm not that poetic or romantic but i'm just being me. i think that's perfectly fine._

_anyways, today you looked very nice._

_and pretty._

_and handsome._

_with your glasses and new haircut._

_my heart pounded out of my chest when i first saw you._

_you're beautiful._

_i hope you know that._

_you really, really are._

_every time i see you i can't fathom how truly gorgeous you are._

_you take my breath away._

_every. single. time._

_this one's going to be a little shorter because i just can't seem to find the right words to say._

_you make my brain short circuit, to be honest._

_have a good day, wonwoo._

_love,_

_your secret admirer._


	3. 2 - reading the letters you sent me

wonwoo's eyebrows furrowed as he picks up the second letter in his desk this week. slightly confused, slightly terrified and slightly happy to see the next letter. the first letter was sweet, raw and real and wonwoo was sure the second letter was going to be much of the same. 

his eyes quickly read the letter once, twice, three times making sure to not skip over a single word. wonwoo never had a secret admirer before, or someone who even had a crush on him. the letters were special to him even if they weren't poetic or cheesy. it was like reading something straight out of someone's heart. the words were conveyed and they seemed somehow better than some cheesy, poetic love letter.

it seemed like this person really did like wonwoo for who he was. not for his looks, or anything else. this person liked the stoned-faced wonwoo, the wonwoo who lacked a better personality, the wonwoo who was angered easily, the wonwoo who cried too often, the wonwoo who loved books but hated people, the wonwoo who secretly always wanted someone to love him just for who he was.

this person, whoever it was, made his heart flutter.

they made him happy.

he was looking forward to the next letter, and all the ones that came after that.


	4. 3 - letters to wonwoo

_i'm in the bathroom writing this right now._

_i'm sorry if the writing's smudged._

_i'm not having the best time right now but writing these letters to you makes me feel a bit better._

_you, in general, makes me feel better._

_happier, safer._

_anyways!_

_how have you been?_

_i haven't seen you in school for a few days._

_are you sick?_

_were you sick?_

_did something happen?_

_i'm sorry if anything did._

_i hope you're feeling better._

_i hope these letters make you feel better._

_happier._

_safer._

_i think i need to go to the nurse so i'll stop my letter here._

_sorry this one wasn't as fun or cheerful as the others._

_from,_

_your admirer._


	5. 4 - letters to wonwoo

_hey!_

_the last letter i sent you was a bit depressing?_

_so i'm gonna make this one a lot happier!_

_today you were wearing your glasses and you looked very nice!_

_super handsome!_

_i hardly see you with glasses on so it was different._

_and you looked soooo cute with them on anyways._

_sometimes i see you squinting without them so i worry about your eyesight._

_wear them more often?_

_maybe?_

_please?  
_

_you look adorable in them._

_i mean,_

_you look adorable anytime but especially with them on._

_well._

_i've got to go before my teacher tries to confiscate this._

_he's very strict._

_i'll write you again soon._

_from,_

_your admirer._


	6. 5 - reading the letters you sent me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i made soonyoung seem annoying or intrusive, dw!!! he learns his lesson!!!

happiness is the only word that can describe what wonwoo feels when he sees a letter on his desk every morning. 

"oo! what's that? what's that?" soonyoung asks, bouncing up and down in his seat in excitement.

"it's nothing!" wonwoo blushes, grabbing the letter and hurrying to put it in his bag.

"lemme see!" soonyoung basically screams, as he reaches over and snatches the letter from wonwoo's slender hands. he rips it open, tearing the heart sticker that keeps the envelope closed in half. 

wonwoo sighs, covering his blushing face with his hand. he's succumbed to soonyoung's antics and is just going to let him do what he wants. 

with every word, soonyoung's smile gets bigger until he's smiling ear to ear. 

"kya!!!!! you have a secret admirer! so cute!!!" soonyoung whisper-yells to wonwoo.

"why are you whispering?" wonwoo asks.

"what if they are in here?!" soonyoung replies, knocking on the side of wonwoo's head, "dummy."

"just shut up, okay? forget you even saw this." wonwoo says, his smile from earlier melting away into a frown.

soonyoung's own smile dissipates, and he awkwardly twiddles his thumbs until class gets started.


	7. 6 - letters to wonwoo

_your friend found out you have a secret admirer?_

_sorry._

_i'll make sure to hide the letters better so no one else finds out._

_its my fault._

_anyways!_

_i got some new shoes today._

_gag._

_what am i even saying?_

_maybe i should try making some poetic letters._

_they seem cool, right?_

_i just really wanna show you how much i love you and appreciate your existence._

_i dunno._

_i just feel like you can't understand how much i care about you, or feel my love through my shitty letters._

_maybe after my next letter you can leave me something to say which type you like better?_

_or maybe i'll mix it up?  
_

_i really just want to show you how i feel._

_these emotions are so strong, y'know?_

_they consume everything._

_i want you to feel my love for you._

_i'm just not sure how to do that?_

_from, your secret admirer._


	8. 7 - letters to wonwoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using my phone to write this I apologise if there s errors and stuff

_dear wonwoo,_

_i fell in love with you the very first time I saw you._

_it was like the world had slowed for only me._

_it was like everyone could hear my heart beat faster and faster._

_it was like my thoughts were heard aloud._

_you were- still are the angel that shines throughout my dark days._

_the one who makes everything better with just a little smile._

_it's been however long since I began to like you- began to love you._

_I tried getting over you but no matter how hard I ever tried you were still in my head and j knew you weren't going anywhere._

_even though I knew I had no chance with you at all._

_so I began to write my soul and my love into these letters to let you know._

_that I love you._

_that I want to kiss your lips._

_that I want to go on cute dates with you._

_that I want to cuddle with you._

_that I want to argue and make up and love each other more than we had before._

_that I want you to be mine and me to be yours._

_that I want you to know how I truly feel._

_from, c._

_p.s. - I think I can give out my first letter of my name, right? I'm already pouring all or my feelings out. what difference does it make?_


	9. 8 - reading the letters you sent me

wonwoo smiles as he reads the poetic letter, a warm feeling spreading among his chest.

each day the letters are there without fail, and wonwoo can't get enough of it. 

still, he likes each letter. whether they are more like diary entries or poetic letters.

he cherishes them all.

he turns the letter over, eyes widening as he sees what it says on the back.

three little boxes, the first saying _"poetic?"_

the second saying _"not poetic?"_

the third saying _"both?"_

wonwoo checks off both and to his dismay, leaves the letter for his secret admirer to find.


	10. i'm sorry. i'll be back.

hello everyone! its been a while.

recently, i have spiraled into a depression and essentially became a mess and i am unmotivated to do anything that i love or makes me happy. i have so many ideas for stories and how to continue this one as well. i miss writing so much but i cant seem to make my words flow how i want. it sucks and i want to improve for myself and for you all. i know my writings not the best but ive become really insecure about it lately. i have lost motivation for writing even though it makes me happy.

all i can do is say that im sorry because im updates are going to be spaced out and i dont know when im going to update this or any of my other ongoing stuff. im not abandoning anything on this account, im just so unmotivated, sad, and insecure about this and everything. 

i am going to try my best to keep my self mentally healthy but my mental health has just been declining. i love you all and thank you all for supporting me. i'll try my best to become a better person for myself and for the things that i love.

i love all of you that read my works and thank you all for your support these past few months that i've been on ao3. thank you all.

(sorry for the ramble, but to sum it all up, my mental health has been at its worst and i feel so unmotivated about writing. i'm going on a small hiatus until i can get a little bit better.)


End file.
